The Fourth Truth
by Graballz
Summary: Set during 5x06 "Two Truths and a Lie" Sam's thoughts and reflections during the car ride to the prison.


**Title:** The Fourth Truth

**Author:** Graballz

**Summary: **This is set during 5x06 "Two Truths and a Lie" Sam's thoughts and reflections during the car ride to the prison.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters. I am not affiliated with the show, station, channel, or anything like that. I make no money from this.

_Author's Note: This is Sam's thoughts and reflections of the car ride to the prison. This fic ends as they are pulling into the parking lot. Thanks for reading and reviewing! _

It was a dumb game. Sam couldn't help smiling to himself at her attempted assertion that Two Truths and a Lie was a "good game". Not that he really had much room to talk, with his forced cheerfulness and preference for awkward silence.

The radio station faded into an annoying whine long before he actually reached over and turned it off. The only problem with silence was that she wasn't good at it. He was. Silence had always been his friend. When he didn't know what to say or didn't want to talk about something, he stayed silent. That had been the accusation of many previous girlfriends, but personally, Sam thought they could have done with a little silence themselves. He was comfortable with silence because he was comfortable with himself. Minus his feelings for Andi, of course, but he was an expert at pushing those back into his heart shaped box and away from real examination.

And that's when she started suggesting games: 20 Questions...I Spy...

Because she wasn't comfortable with silence. He knew she could tell something was wrong with him, but she allowed it to go unacknowledged.

They stopped for lunch (fast food, of course) and after another ten minutes of silent chewing, she brought up the next game: Two Truths and a Lie. Only this time, she started opening up about her dad, so he couldn't just ignore or deflect the way he had with I Spy.

And then she called it a "good game" which to Sam sounded like she was trying to convince herself as well as him.

I'm a cop. I'm a man. I'm a chicken.

As they got closer to their destination, he was growing more nervous about their list of interviewees, so the forced cheerfulness popped up in his half-assed attempt to pacify her. The "chicken" part was supposed to be funny. But then she turned the game into seriousness, acknowledging his anxiety, so he fell back on his old buddy, silence, because there was no good way to bring it up into conversation.

And the way she said that word, "chicken" he could tell she was disappointed. What did she want him to do? Tell her that one of the inmates was his old man? Scream about how he hoped he would never have to see that bastard again? Cry about his childhood? Well, none of those options was him, and if that's what she expected from him, she would be sorely disappointed.

But her disappointment shamed him. He knew she was trying to be a good partner and show concern for him, and it bothered him that she was anything less than happy, especially since he was the cause. It made him feel vulnerable, and Sam didn't like feeling vulnerable.

Three truths: he is a cop; he is a man; he is a chicken.

And the fourth truth?

He is hopelessly in love with her. He can't even lie to himself about it anymore. He can't say it out loud because then it means things could change, and they are finally at a tentative plateau in the awkward more-than-friends-but-not-officially-dating phase. And he especially can't tell her now, not when they are about to walk into the penitentiary where his father has been for most of his life. If he has any luck at all, they will be able to get in there, interview everyone except him, and get out without her ever having to know his father was a stone's throw away.

But he had to force himself to face reality. When had luck ever been on his side, especially when it comes to her? The reality of facing his father is what causes him the anxiety and nervousness, which makes him feel vulnerable, weak, able to be hurt, and so he covers it with sarcasm and false cheerfulness and silence.

But the fourth truth is always there, just behind his lips, silently flowing from his heart that he loves her. He always has, and he always will.

That may not be a truth she wants to hear, and he won't survive her again. So he stays silent, wishing he didn't have to lie.


End file.
